Monday, July 14, 2008

05. ending

she had been doing well. her paper sculptures had been one of the top sellers so far and she had been managing all the accountings on her own. its her business and no one would take that away. we would only facilitate the best conditions for her. this residency would be here as long as this country does not turn into a fail state. there are fundings from both the private and public sector to sustain this institution. so said the doctor on this recent visit by kim.

as a result of her illness, kam also came to understand herself better. she found relief in this quiet abode with the little crowd (the doctor, the nurse and the housekeeper, although she would prefer them not the change the housekeeper so frequently) except for the occasional visits by her family and close friends. her web-based business is going well and she continues to earn her own keeps. the wonders of the internet, the wonders of being able to communicate and stay in touch with reality somewhat and the ability to make a living behind the flat screen.

as night falls and the stars started appearing, she pondered as she often did, would she ever be able to get out of here and gel with the crowd again? would she have to continue relying on the cocktail load of xanax, paxil and prozac for the rest of her life? as the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. would she be able to handle the sort of askance and stigma that people here in general show towards mentally-ill patients should they come to know about her hidden illness? as she continue thinking, sleep overtook her.

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